Whatever happened to good art around here? Where people are trying to create something new and exciting instead of something that looks good. Whatever happened to people putting thier emotion in art in a way that encompasses good art techniques not just a crappy half ass digital production. All I see are people fallowing trends. Pop art is so popular now, pictures of poor ethnic kids, glam photos all taken in the same way, cute sexy anime figures. And what the hell is up with fan art....don't get me started on that. Does anyone actually think about what art means anymore? What it means to them to others, like instead of an illusion of nature or some easily conceived part of reality, does anyone think about how things are manifested, how it makes people feel, expressing basic concepts such as repetition, tension, symbolism, lines, color or composition? What ever happened to traditional art? I see so much crappy art on this website, and if it is good it is just another variation of what is popular or trendy. I am not claiming myself exempt from this all, but that is in part why I have stopped creating art for a while, until I can conceive of something worthy something that is not just easy for me to bust out like a pretty face or an emotionally charged scene of some sort. People here may be talented or able to draw what they want or see, but I don't see anyone exploring, doing new things, or thinking about things that are really important in art. Like concepts and communication. I have been taking this modern art class that is way to hard, but it has really opened my eyes to thinking about art in new ways, thinking about what it represents, how I want people to feel instead of making something that looks good or cool. Thinking about the form, the negative space, almost like it is an entity of itself. It is hard to explain. But I feel as though art is in a way dying, people don't learn about it as much as I should. You have to know the rules before you can break them. That is, people should know the techniques, other influential artists, art history, art concepts and art theory. Art is more than something that you can put down on paper and I think if people are serious about it then they should have the entire experience and embrace the field as a whole, even if they dont like some of it. Otherwise your just ignorant. I am ashamed of myself for my previous views and perception of art, I feel like I still have a long way to go, but that my eyes have been opened. And because of that I am more disappointed in what I see around me. Although, remember, if this pisses anyone off, it is all in my own opinion. I just felt like ranting about it, but if people disagree with me I respect that. Its all relative and subjective.

so my computer is really fucked up, and I cant connect to the internet. Unfortunatly all my work is on my computer and I cant transfer it to the library ones because my computer is also failing at burning CD's. anyway, untill it gets fixed I wont be able to submit anything. Why is it that I try to do everything right with my computer and it still crashes!!! Damnit, am I doomed to a life of computer problems?

have you ever felt like you dont really want to be where you are or do what you are doing at that time, but you dont really want to be anywhere else either. Or you dont want to go back to the past, thinking about the future doest help, and you dont like the present. It is such a wierd feeling, like I have no where to go, and I dont want to go or do anything, but I dont want to be here doing what I am doing. I want to do and go somewhere, but nothing I can think of sounds or feels appealing. I feel sort of meaningless and purpousless. It is very uncomfortable.

so what do you do if your stuck in seattle w/ your fiance, absolutly no money, no transportation, and it is like a freaking sunaimi outside? oh and you have no internet or friends in the area?
This is not a rehtorical question.

I know that christmas is different for everyone, especially since not everyone celebrates christmas. But for a lot of people it is such a special time. I remember when I was little how great it was (and not just becuase of all the presents) My family would have great big get togethers with lots of food, everyone was so much nicer, even people that you just bumped into on the street. Everything was lit up and decorated and I loved thinking about what to get people for christmas (I love giving gifts) and what they were getting me. It is like the one time in the year when you are allowed to be spoiled. I dont necessarily agree with how it is so commercialized and everything. But it is a time to focus on family. I know that other people have it really hard for christmas and so I believe in donating presents to charities to during christmas. But you cant help everyone, so you have to focus on helping your family the most. But it seems that ever since my parents divorced all that magic whent out of christmas, and every year I look forward to it hoping that I will be satisfied with how special and great it is. Yet every year I am dissapointed for one reason or another. Last year my parents decided that all us kids (me my brother and my stepbrother) would really like if we all were stuck in the same car together and went on a 3 week road trip in california for winter vacation. Of course they didnt ask our opinion on all of this, and becuase the trip was expensive, they dicided that the trip itself would be our present. So on christmas morning I woke up in a sleeping bag on the floor of a hotel without any presnets, being 60 degrees outside. Luckly the hotel had a great christmas complementary breakfast waiting for us. *sarcasm* This year my stepdad decided that presents are all together unessisary so I wont have any to open on christmas, he also thinks real trees are a fire hazard so we have a fake tree, all we do on christmas is go to church and have a big nice dinner. No family other than imediet family, and if I wanted to go see freinds they would be upset. Every one is rushing around like chickens with thier heads cut off. I am so busy, and I dont have enough time to spend with my friends who I wont see again untill the summer, and I dont know if I can handle that. UGh, I just wish that christmas was special again.

ok, so this is my very first real journal entery. it is kinda a rant. so sorry if you get confused, I will try to explain things along the way.

Ok, so Nathaniel (my fiance) and lover of 3 years and 3 months turns 20 in a couple days. After all this time of being together his little brother Alex (who is 17 at the moment) has not liked me. In fact recently he has just began to aknowlege me and talk to me. In the very beging he was nice to me, and then when me and Nathaniel started to get closer he started to hate me more. I guess I can understand, he and his brother are close (in a unspoken way) and i was taking him away from him. We spent all our time together, and I will not deny that I am sure we were annoying with all our love notes, giggling and playful banter. But Alex was uncessisarily mean and unaccepting. When we got engaged this summer he told his mom that he "guesses he is going to try and find a way to like me now becuase I am not going away" Now, just recently Alex has got a "real" girlfriend, she lives off the island so he doesnt get to see her that often, but when they do it is not stop giggling and banting like I have never seen. He is way worse than we ever were. It kinda pisses me off becuase he used to complain about us so much. I am happy that Alex is so happy. But just today he invited her to Nathaniels birthday dinner. I never got to go to Alex's birthday dinner, Alex would have thrown a fit. I know that it would be really immature to give Alex a taste of his own medicine but part of me just wants Nathaniel to be really unaccepting to Amber (alex's girlfriend) just to get back at him. He really hurt my feelings and he still doesnt like me that much after 3 freaking years, and I have been nothing but nice to him! and then he goes and just invites amber to the dinner. Like after 6 months of going out with her is going to make her apart of the family. I know this sounds selfish, but it took me a long time to become part of his family I went all the way from "Get OFF my son!" to "Love, you Erika!" from his parents, and I will be damed if she becomes a nice addition to this family just because I already paved the path. You know, we are finnaly allowed to sleep in the same bed together now, but I had to go through hell to get here, and I bet you his mother lets Amber sleep with alex becuase there is no where else to sleep. It would be mean to make her sleep on the couch. (sarcasm) Nathaniel only has one brother and a mom and a dad. I was the girl in the family, I am inheriting the china for Gods sake. And there is no way that bitch is stealing my china.


Ok, that was a bit harsh, I dont really have that much against Amber, like I said it was a rant.
Sorry I havnt been on much, I am skipping around houses and I cant get to the internet much.